A WOUND

I can imagine how I looked yesterday in the class..

A big giant wounded cat howling in the jungle..

Nobody listened

Nobody cared

Nobody was scared..

They felt the wound,

They knew the giant cat could do nothing..

They knew it was a mere howling..

I can't..

I can't look them in the eye for too long..

I can't gaze into their souls..

I can't understand..

I'm afraid..

But why?

Why should the giant cat be afraid of the little rabbits, the hippo or the ghazal?

Wait!

There were no ghazals!

I think I know the truth,

They are all cats

Small cats

And I know they are as wounded as I am

But I refuse to admit it..

They reminded me with something.

An image that was long gone,

An image I forgot,

An image I thought I would never have to face again..

A memory that was long hidden in the past..

Something I never wanted back..

I want to run again,

I wish not to face them again

I wish not to recall whatever they reminded me with..

But you have to face them dear

You can't run forever,

This is not how things go.

You had ran away before, did it do you any good?

You know the truth, don't you?

That if you ever start running, it would never end

That it will hunt you forever?

I'm aware of that,

Fully aware

But I'm not ready

You will never be ready

You will be in the process

But you have to go in it

It's painful

Of course it is!

Do you imagine any real gain in easy processes?!

It has to be!

I'll try

You know I'm already trying, don't you?

Yes, but I'm afraid you'll soon surrender,

Just as easily as you did before..