I can imagine how I looked yesterday in the class..
A big giant wounded cat howling in the jungle..
Nobody listened
Nobody cared
Nobody was scared..
They felt the wound,
They knew the giant cat could do nothing..
They knew it was a mere howling..
I can't..
I can't look them in the eye for too long..
I can't gaze into their souls..
I can't understand..
I'm afraid..
But why?
Why should the giant cat be afraid of the little rabbits, the hippo or the ghazal?
Wait!
There were no ghazals!
I think I know the truth,
They are all cats
Small cats
And I know they are as wounded as I am
But I refuse to admit it..
They reminded me with something.
An image that was long gone,
An image I forgot,
An image I thought I would never have to face again..
A memory that was long hidden in the past..
Something I never wanted back..
I want to
run again,
I wish not to
face them again
I wish not
to recall whatever they reminded me with..
But you
have to face them dear
You can't
run forever,
This is not
how things go.
You had ran
away before, did it do you any good?
You know
the truth, don't you?
That if you
ever start running, it would never end
That it
will hunt you forever?
I'm aware
of that,
Fully aware
But I'm not
ready
You will
never be ready
You will be
in the process
But you
have to go in it
It's
painful
Of course
it is!
Do you
imagine any real gain in easy processes?!
It has to
be!
I'll try
You know I'm
already trying, don't you?
Yes, but I'm
afraid you'll soon surrender,
Just as
easily as you did before..
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